Part 1: What---

It's...been a long time since I last updated this "dead" blog...to others it may seem like little but to me, there's been quite an amount of things that happen...first off, it's 2009 and 10 days late to wish any of you people happy new year so, I won't bother on that...For the last 2 months of '08 was kinda boring, watch 'Twilight's the only I've done that did not make me feel pathetic...other than that it's new year's eve...kinda fun to have people around for a change....overall, I'll just say that '08 is a B*tch(mind my language). As for '09...I started first day of school MUCH differently than the previous years...got caught 'cause my hair was "long", after that had near 4 hours of grueling tuition...Second day was better!!!(being so sacarstic) We had to listen to about 1 1/2-2 hours worth of words which most students just see it as 'useless facts'...and every day after school I'll just sleep til' I'm satisfied because it's been tiring so far...other than this are....well, there's a new girl in my class, my classroom sux, I hate waking up so damn early, got the school yearbook....that's all I can think right now to summarize up these few months....can't really remember other things....
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...Well...."she" sure seems to be doing fine....but I'm starting to wonder if I should really go.....and whenever I do...school here seems nice....as though I don't wanna leave....eventhough...I know I'm not needed nor wanted here....there's people waiting for me in my "Sanctuary" but.....ARGH!!!! I hate how I feel now! It's like when you die, you can choose to stay as a wandering spirit or go to "the other side"....and right now, I feel like a wandering spirit, I'm not needed, I'm not wanted yet I feel like staying eventhough I don't want to....I guess....I'm still staying to search for a reason to stay....not reasons given to me, reasons for me to stay....and right now...I don't have that....if I have a reason to stay, I might....but now, nobody hasn't really given me one.....I....I....feel like I have to go...it's the only way for me not keep drowning in my "Sea of Self-Obligation"....
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........It's been a long post, if I'm boring you, I apologize. I guess it's just one of my bad habits to make people bored.....right now...I feel like I must go....I have to.....if nobody gives me a reason to stay, I will....