The Main Event....

Hey, quick update ppl and I just have one thing to say......R.K.O. IS GOING TOOOOO WRESTLEMANIAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Part 2 : Would----

Back for another day to write boring stuffs that ppl wouldn't want to read XD. If you're wondering what's the deal with the poster, it's a new John Cena movie coming out some time around March....it won't be in M'sia though cause it's still backwatered compared to other countries....Anyway, urm...currently sick(ugh...)not good, feel like crap, head feels heavy, can't barely speak, sneeze like blowing out a birthday cake for the past few hours and now writing this down for reasons I myself do not know why......let's see...what's more.......watch some spongebob special thing that i downloaded.....for like 5 times now(damn! I'm lifeless!)hmm.....what else is there...?
..............
.............
.........
......
....
oh yeah, been working lil' bit on the name weapons thingy...okay, name weapons is just bogus, i'll just say my game, it'd be easier....as I was saying, been working a lil' bit in here and there and let's just say it's getting better bit by bit each day(schooling day that is)............
.........
........
........
.......
.........
well, I just saw a few pics of a gurl I liked about an hour ago....she's happy....and that's good.....Also, "She"(a diff person), seems to be "watching" some guy to see if he's her "potential" bf...this's what I think but I'm not sure myself...anyway, they seem to be happy....well, at least "she" knows how to find a way to be...."she"s happy, my previous crush's happy, everyone's happy....what about me...????Me??? hmph....I'm just not cut out to be happy.........I'm sick, I'm lifeless, what else more do you want me to add? Short? Skiny? Stupid? Useless? Emo? Irritatting? You name it, I'm whatever you say....but just to make this clear, I'm not queer. So far, this year's been like last year to me, not kind...but the only thing that keeps me going is to reach my "Sanctuary" one day...but now....even it seems to be turning into another hell hole before I even reached there, waiting to lure me in and throw me into the endless, bottomless pit of suffering......I don't know if I wanna go there if all that awaits me there is more pain, more suffering, more agony....I don't want that anymore....I don't want to feel anymore pain, physical pain I can still handle...but mental....if I do, I'll break....I'll break and end my life before anyone realize it.....I don't know whether to stay or to go...because it seems like anywhere I go, there's just more bad things waiting for me.....and everyday I try so hard just to get by, to put a fake smile, I wear a mask that hides my pain, everyone does but mine can shatter to pieces at any moment.......I need to find peace in my life, I really do....so here's my request to anyone who's reading this, to all my friends, family, enemies, fellow readers, help me find peace back in my life, leave me be, don't torture me anymore, help me find the peace in my life I lost so long ago...and in return, I swear to repay you with kindness, it's not much, it may be hard for me to do but it's the only thing I have left that I'll do my best to deliver...just like the song 'Savin' Me' by Nickelback, if you think it is worth saving me, help me do this small favour that I request.......to all that have spend time to read the thoughts of this broken soul, I appreciate you spending time to read....and with this, I end my post for now........

Part 1: What---

It's...been a long time since I last updated this "dead" blog...to others it may seem like little but to me, there's been quite an amount of things that happen...first off, it's 2009 and 10 days late to wish any of you people happy new year so, I won't bother on that...For the last 2 months of '08 was kinda boring, watch 'Twilight's the only I've done that did not make me feel pathetic...other than that it's new year's eve...kinda fun to have people around for a change....overall, I'll just say that '08 is a B*tch(mind my language). As for '09...I started first day of school MUCH differently than the previous years...got caught 'cause my hair was "long", after that had near 4 hours of grueling tuition...Second day was better!!!(being so sacarstic) We had to listen to about 1 1/2-2 hours worth of words which most students just see it as 'useless facts'...and every day after school I'll just sleep til' I'm satisfied because it's been tiring so far...other than this are....well, there's a new girl in my class, my classroom sux, I hate waking up so damn early, got the school yearbook....that's all I can think right now to summarize up these few months....can't really remember other things....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
...Well...."she" sure seems to be doing fine....but I'm starting to wonder if I should really go.....and whenever I do...school here seems nice....as though I don't wanna leave....eventhough...I know I'm not needed nor wanted here....there's people waiting for me in my "Sanctuary" but.....ARGH!!!! I hate how I feel now! It's like when you die, you can choose to stay as a wandering spirit or go to "the other side"....and right now, I feel like a wandering spirit, I'm not needed, I'm not wanted yet I feel like staying eventhough I don't want to....I guess....I'm still staying to search for a reason to stay....not reasons given to me, reasons for me to stay....and right now...I don't have that....if I have a reason to stay, I might....but now, nobody hasn't really given me one.....I....I....feel like I have to go...it's the only way for me not keep drowning in my "Sea of Self-Obligation"....
.....
.....
.....
........It's been a long post, if I'm boring you, I apologize. I guess it's just one of my bad habits to make people bored.....right now...I feel like I must go....I have to.....if nobody gives me a reason to stay, I will....